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Posted in New New

GOOD GIRL IN A NAIJA STRIP CLUB!

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“I just cringed as i remember her putting one of her legs up.”

L.O.L.

My fellow goodie-too-shoes friends and I, omo daa da (good child), went to a strip club. When 2018 started, I promised myself to not remain the same. 2018 will start my life adventure.

We, my friends and I, went to Lagos for The She-Leads-Africa Festival 2018. We hung out at probably one of the best places I have ever been to called Thistle Bar. The food was a-ma-zi-ng. I recommend you check it out.

After eating we started our usual chit-chat about law and life as all lawyers and to-be lawyers do when one of my male friends mentioned there was a strip club nearby. My amebo ears pricked up. I said “ehn? Strip club? Real life strip club with naked women on poles?” He replied yes then went on to tell us a story of how he and his friends went ‘mistakenly’ went there for the first time. I give that story a side-eye. He however swears that its true. Okay oh. He remembered the way to the place very well but what do i know?

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I was not going to hear that a strip club  was nearby and NOT check it out. I championed the brief trip to the Strip Club. Do i regret it? No. I satisfied my curiosity. Would i ever go there again? No thank you. It did not meet my expectations and it was very uncomfortable.

The moment we walked into the strip club my mind and soul went back out. As I turned to get out I saw my friends that were ‘forming’ earlier sitting down. Like hello? What are you sitting for??Apparently it would have been very rude to walk back out. I went with the flow. The place was smaller and scantier than I had hoped. I had imagined a whole Juicy J music video with “bandz a make her dance” booming through speakers. There were just two strippers and less than 20 people in  the room.

The stripper on the pole amazed me. I was surprised and I was impressed. This lady (the other stripper was busy grinding on willing customers) was doing the flips and turns you see in American music videos. I’m talking about rolling upside down on a pole. I am younger and smaller than she is and I would not have been able to do half of her stunts.

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She was naked. Do you know how confident you have to be about your body to be stack naked and dancing in front of people? Forget about having no shame or whatever is running through your Nigerian mind but can YOU confidently show off your whole body? I know I can not. Wearing a crop top alone gives me anxiety because of my stomach.

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We did not spend up to 15 minutes thankfully. There was nothing much to see there. I satisfied my curiosity. I saw enough. We ordered our Uber Rides and left when they arrived. The hefty security guard was surprised we were leaving almost immediately. We were all glad to leave.

The experience was something. That is all what I will call it. Even though I was impressed with the confidence of the stripper, I could not watch her dance for long. I just could not. I just cringed as I remember her putting one of her legs up. No thank you miss. Even though that was not a scene for me and I have reservations about stripping, I will not be one of the Nigerians that twists my nose at strippers. They have their story.

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Posted in Inspiration, Motivation

HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER

Making changes in life is one of the hardest things to do. We are so set in our ways that we do not see if our way of life is wrong or right. If we do see that something is wrong, its hard to make a change because we are comfortable in our own skin. This is one of the things we have to deal with while adulting, learning and unlearning of our ways and beliefs.

Social media is filled with people making moves or at least pretending to be. We’re all talking about being the better version of ourselves and doing better than our parents. Which is great but i wonder if we’re all just ‘making mouth’. I recently started making positive changes in my life and i realized no one talk about how hard it can be. If you are making real changes in your life, it might be like walking blind a lot of times. You will walk blind sometimes because there will be times you do not know if what you’re doing will work out or if it’s right.

One of the changes i have made to myself is being very honest with myself and to others. An example is me being honest about my career choices. After my call to bar next year, i may be hanging my wig and gown and going to school for a different career path. Accepting that being in a court room is not what i want to do for the rest of my life was extremely hard. It was harder letting my parents know but it hard to be done. Doing so lightened my heart and made me more aware of what i’m good at and what i enjoy.

Another change i have made is becoming more of a doer than a dreamer. Being a dreamer is great but what is the point dreaming amazing thin gs if you cant bring them into reality? As a dreamer, doing the work to bring the dream into reality is the hardest thing. As dreamers we become so comfortable in our dreams that we wish we could completely disappear into them. Not gonna happen honey.

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 How i started putting my dreams into reality:

  1. Sit down (table and chair) and write down all you want to achieve in life.
  2. Be realistic about your list. Dream about big things that can actually happen in this life. Don’t put things like bringing Tupac back please.
  3. Prioritize the list. What is more important than what and what can you achieve before the other.
  4. Map out how you can achieve each of your goals. If you do not have things all figured out that is fine. You can fill in blank spaces as your life goes on.
  5. Put deadlines. Keep putting deadlines and revising the list as life goes on.
  6. You can be like me and put different reminders on your phone to remind of your incoming activities and deadlines.
  7. You can put up notes on your wall or use your list as your gadget’s screensaver. Anything to keep you on your toes.

There will be days you slack but you have to remember that you do not want to be old and full of regret of not living the life you always dreamt of.

The third and last change i made that i will be sharing is to stop complaining and change my life. One thing i always complain of is not having money. If you want to open businesses and travel the world and a bunch of other things, you need money. I am one of the most laid back people that exist in this world. I am always indoors…because i do not have money to cruise round town. I find my peace on my phone and on my laptop. I researched with my best friend, who is coincidentally my boyfriend, to figure out what else i could do, on a low budget. A whole blog post would be dedicated to low budget activities to spice up your life however, these are two of the things i have started doing that i should have started doing a long time ago:

  1. Restaurant reviews- bf and i started budgeting for restaurant dates and reviewing their service and place from the moment we step in. We will record each experience in a new blog series called THE AFRO VET AND THE AFRO ATTORNEY:
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    Coming soooon
  2. I entered the business world. I opened a retail store called TheAfroAttorney’s Store. You can check out my pride and joy at @t.a.a_store on Instagram. Currently available on the store are the products that finally cleared my acne, You should be familiar with the story of how pimples took over my life here HONEY FACE MASK EPIC FAIL! Well hallelujah, i am now chilling with face as smooth a baby’s bottom.
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    TheAfroAttorney’s Store

Life is hard but living with regrets is harder. Regrets of not living the life you wanted, of not living better and of not doing better. Reviewing the way we live is essential for growth. I wrote this in hope that someone somewhere can relate to something here. I am no professional about life but i know a few things about thriving to do better in life.

Like, comment if you have any advice for me or other readers and kindly share.

If anyone is in need of someone to talk to and listen and or help out some way, you can reach me at theafroattorney@yahoo.com

Posted in Uncategorized

BOYS OVER FLOWERS CAUSED THIS!!

This show was IT!!

Its 2013 and my best friend and I are back from our stressful day of classes and hunt for a ride to our University Hostel. Obafemi Awolowo Female Hostel was in its usual darkness and the air was filled with the usual complaints and curses at University of Ibadan. We walked past the room right before mine but noticed that instead of curses, there were cries of joy and excitement. We went in and saw girls gathered round a laptop. I peeped to see what they were watching. I could not believe my eyes. “Are these girls serious? Are they really watching a movie with these ‘round faced people’?” my ignorant self asked my friend. I dropped off my bag at my room and went right back to the next room to join the girls. I was curious about what could make so many young ladies stay glued to a screen in darkness, heat, and mosquitoes. It was Boys Over Flowers.

F4 at their finest! Was it their dressing? Height? Or wealth that got us stuck?!

It is about time this is addressed my people. The growing addiction to Korean Seasonal films and even songs is unbelievable. I am an addict and I never saw it coming. Boys Over Flowers caused it. Gyo Jun Pyo caused this! Most of us K-Drama and K-Pop addict or watchers got introduced through either B.O.F or Playful Kiss. We saw a tall, privileged, surprisingly attractive Korean (who does not have a round face by the way) fall madly in love with a peasant girl who could stand up to him and we were completely addicted. 

After B.O.F I watched Playful Kiss. I could not finish Playful Kiss because I could not deal with how dumb they made the female lead but I enjoyed looking at the male lead. I have watched so many more dramas and I download the soundtracks I enjoy. They always use lovely songs for their soundtracks. The moment I finish one I look for another one to watch. I have watched so many that I know the top Korean actors and actresses and probably their personal family history as well. I can’t stop and I do not want to stop. 

This scene where Gu Jun Pyo was an ass then he wasn’t an ass anymore.

I get so excited when I find out that there are so many people who watch them. And of course we always exchange the series we have and advise each other on what to watch and what is a no-go area. This is very important. The same way there a great Korean dramas that positively surprise you is the same way there are those that will annoy you. They are just so fun and sometimes unrealistic enough for you to dream and wish a little. They really create dope romantic story lines.

I would like to know what KD got you hooked and how long you’ve been watching KD. Where do you get them to watch? CDs or downloads? I mostly just wait till certain friends of mine already have new ones. My internet data is precious.

Posted in Uncategorized

HAPPILY SINGLE

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Being single is not a curse. It most definitely does not mean something is wrong with you. Choose to be happily single and be comfortable with yourself. Stay away from unhappy relationships. When you’re happily single you have so much time for yourself. You enjoy your company and that of the good people around you. Your hair grows and your skin glowsss. It also means you have time to focus on making money and enjoy the many chances of finding a significant other. Being unhappy in a relationship however, is like having a dark cloud hang over your head 24/7. If you’ve been there you know exactly what I mean.

 We’re half way through 2017 and love is still one of the most confusing things for people. There are a million articles about how to find real love. There are a million YouTube channels dedicated to this thing called love. Do not get me started about the movies and series making money by feeding people with slightly unrealistic things that represent love. 


I regularly see people make mistakes in relationships that seem so obviously avoidable to me. I always wonder how come most people do not know the most basic things about relationship, for instance, how important communication is. People will play the “silent game” in relationships magically expecting their partners to know how they offended them (why won’t you just open your mouth and tell him or her what is wrong?!). 

I would say I’m lucky because I grew up with my mother constantly telling me what is right or wrong in a relationship. The moment she had a girl she was determined to not have a “mumu” for a daughter (Lol that’s my only explanation for how she always pulled me aside and used marriages of people to explain what’s right and wrong!). I could actually write a fantastic book on love and relationships. I’m that friend who always has great advice for friends most of the time (and yes I follow my advice most of the time). 

Most of the things I know seem like very very basic things. And it always surprises me when people do not, or act like they do not, know these things. For instance, you should date someone you have been friends with for a while. I cannot overemphasize how important it is for you to be very good friends before you become lovers. Or how if a guy does not call you he is not as interested as you think (ladies please let’s stop throwing yourselves at guys who do not reciprocate). Or, the one that surprises me the most, thinking your love can change someone from who they are to who you wish they were. 

I’m going to choose to believe that people know these basic things about relationships but the heart has a way of clouding ones thinking. The number of one-sided and unhealthy relationships around me is alarming. And something needs to change. If your partner does not make you happy, that is an obvious sign to get out. Stop trying to fix something that is making you unhappy most of the time.

Life is too short and stressful to be with someone who won’t kill you with happiness. Don’t let God shake his head and wonder why he’s bothering to give you signs to get out of that unhealthy situation. 

We have to be selfish with our happiness. Don’t let someone else take away your sunshine. Don’t let anyone play god in your life. No one should have power over you. They are mere humans like you.

Posted in Uncategorized

HONEY FACE MASK EPIC FAIL!

If you Google Honey, you would see enough information about the benefits of honey. Organicfacts.net will give you the story of how honey has been used by many cultures around the world and nine of its benefits. That’s all well and good. However, not enough of these blogs, magazines and information in general tell us about the possible side effects of honey and what not to do.

I did a little experiment. It was supposed to be for a month but it had to be reduced to a week. My good people of the internet generation, not everything you see online is for you. Not every information seen online will work for you. I am a firm believer of trying something after seeing many positive reviews but i have learnt a lesson. If you’ve read my Gifts of Nature post you would know I have a strong faith in natural things like Shea butter, olive oil, eggs and so on. So this came as a shock.

So i bought a bottle of Apple Cider Vinegar and a jar of pure honey. I intended to try them on my face and on my hair and see if they really work wonders. The way bloggers and YouTubers go on about these two things you would think they’ve replaced the holy Coconut Oil that can fix all your problems.

I gave the Apple Cider Vinegar to one of my best friends to use as a facial scrub for a month. We took ‘before’ pictures so we can compare with ‘after’ pictures to see if it would help her breakouts. Her review and experience would be posted here when the time comes.

I used the honey alone for a week now. It was an epic fail. I don’t fully understand wrong but I had ‘heat rash’ all over my face and two big pimples. It was just one week. I was really stressed.

I could not stop wondering if the honey wasn’t pure enough or if my face is not prim enough for honey. All I know is I have never had painful and itchy pimples in my life and my pimples usually leave within a week.

In all honesty, I have a clue to what went wrong. The honey I bought was not raw honey. The manufacturers swore it was pure honey. I later read somewhere that there is a difference between ‘pure honey’ and ‘raw honey’. Just my luck that i learnt that after my unfortunate week.

Please do not fall into the trap and don’t fall for the hype. Use only the raw products when experimenting on your face. Don’t fall for those “pure” “100%” “refined” products. The question now is, where does one find raw honey?

CHECK OUT – how to differentiate between real and filtered honey

Posted in Uncategorized

No one knows what they’re doing!

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Do you ever worry that maybe you are not enough? Do you feel you are not doing enough? Do your mates seem like they are getting their lives together and you’re still in the same place? Do you frequently calm your nerves and tell yourself “I can do this” before taking up a ‘simple’ task?

You’re not alone.
Most of us have no idea what we’re doing but we push through. We push because we have no other choice. Our parents want us to be successful and we really want to be successful.

We push through because we have a goal in mind and sitting down would not bring the mountain to us. The smallest step is important because it gets us closer to our goal than we were.

We push through because every other person seems to be getting their lives together and we do not want to be left behind. We want to be able to sit with our heads held high at a table with friends in future.

We push through because pushing through and getting things done is a movement. It has become a norm for people to want more and do better. It has become a way of life. Everyone wants to move forward.

We don’t know exactly what we’re doing or how we’re going to get to our goal. We don’t know if all our hard work would even pay off at the end. We’re not exactly sure how near our goal is. But we push through either. So you should too.

Posted in Uncategorized

Vintage Boyfriend

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I have a love affair with anything considered “too old” by people in my generation. My love for anything “too old” can be particularly seen in my taste in music and movies. Being a cynical romantic, old love songs and romance movies tingle my fancy. Naturally, I crave a love like the ones I’ve watched in Gone with the Wind and The Notebook. I yearn for a permanent version of the feeling Frank Sinatra and Nate King cole songs give me. But can that kind of love exist in the 2010s?

The male leads in my favorite “old”  movies and the men who sang my favorite “old” love songs came from a time where chivalry was a norm. The men were gentlemanly and the women were proper ladies. They came from a time where when something was broken, they fixed it. Love was nothing to be shy of and marriage was of the utmost importance. Double dating was a bigger sin and having ‘sidechicks’ or ‘sideniggas’ was not glorified.

The men were brought up to treat women well and certain behaviors towards women was unseemly. Things like opening doors for ladies and offering a coat to a shivering lady (although the men could do this thanks to the other layers of clothing they usually had on!) were no big deal. Being a proper gentleman was a societal norm and not a questionable thing. Why are these things such a big deal now?

I have no answers to my questions but I would say this. Vintage men are suited for vintage women. Their time has gone but I do believe we have our 21st century versions of the “old” gentlemen. We just have to bid our time and wait and see.

 

Posted in Uncategorized

What do I need to succeed?


Good morning to my bright readers and followers. I hope you had a productive weekend unlike me. Well, it was sort of productive in its own way. I slept and read about blogging all weekend (mostly slept to be honest). 

During this past weekend I also carried out a brief survey. The over 200 people involved know themselves (hey Whatsapp family). I asked people what they think is the most important ingredient for success. Perseverance and consistency for the win although my favorite answers were grit and self awareness. Many of the people involved in the survey also explained why they gave their answers.

If you’re like me, then a day doesn’t go by without you thinking of success, happiness, fulfillment and of course, money. Growing older, however,  has made me realize that the word ‘success’ means different things to different people. For some people money is success and for others fame is success. 

The best answer I got from the survey is that there is no ‘most important ingredient’ for success. It is a bunch of things that makes a person to be successful. God + passion + hard work = success. Hard work is an umbrella for perseverance, consistency and grit. 

I pray God helps us all to know our passion and acknowledges our hard work so as to be successful in life. Amen. 

Posted in Rant

For the heart of man is desperately wicked. 

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Genesis  6:5  And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

I’m marvelled. I’m scared. We’ve had the Holocaust, Slavery, World War One and Two, the era of Witch Killings (public burning) and many more. To bring it home, we’ve had the Biafra War, killing of twins, selling of our own people to white men in exchange for ‘riches’or some type of wealth. But it seems we humans are not tired. We are not tired at all. We really want to destroy each other and this world we live in. 

“Why do I say we are not tired?” you might ask. Well, we’ve got people who find ways to defend rape, racism and all types of oppression. There are people who defend the most horrific acts which should not be mentioned in public. The most horrible people, because of money or power they have, are never reprimanded. 

I am pretty sure the end of the world is very near. Who knows? Our generation might never reach old age. Our generation might actually experience the rapture. Why? Because I do not know how much longer we humans can hold on if we have countries like Russia embarking on Chemical Attacks. Yes. A Chemical attack on Syria

All I can say is it is well. But I am very worried and you should be too. 

Posted in Inspiration, Motivation

DON’T BE A LOSER. PLEASE.

DON’T BE A LOSER. PLEASE.

This is 2017. It is the year of making money. This is the year of ‘grabbing your dreams by the nuts’ as my good friend Ezim Osai would say. This is the year of knowing you can be so much more than community, friends and family say you should be. This is the year when our age group [late teens and early 20s] is realizing that you can actually, really start working towards your goals. This is the year when teenagers and young people become successful through the most innovative and different ideas. Don’t be left out.

Aim to be successful. Aim to be more than you are right now. Strive for excellence and the absolute best. Develop yourself daily. Get new hobbies. Learn to swim, play tennis and even dance. It is never too late to refresh yourself.

The human capacity is limitless as long as you’re ready to break boundaries. Very few people are born into families and situations that do not restrict their thinking and their abilities. When you are not lucky enough to be born into such, it is your duty to break out.

Fear is the number one cause of failure. Fear paralyzes. Learn to say “f**k it” and JUST DO IT. Just go ahead and do that thing you have always been thinking about doing. Just get up and do that one thing you have been wishing you could do. What’s the worst that could happen?